Dear Google…if I could have just one thing this Xmas…



Technical SEO

With the Google Places map taking prime position on the top of the sponsored ads strip much to our dislike, I decided to write a poem in an effort to tug at Googles emotional heart strings and see if they would grant me just one little Christmas wish this year.

6 hours of research and 3 hours of writing,
The campaign is ready, our competitors are frightened.

We set our bids and wait for some stats,
No one will be able to resist our ads.

A whole day passes and we’ve received no clicks,
It’s not our copyright, maybe something else needs fixed.

We search for our ad in position 3,
but in its place is a map of Leeds.

I scroll down the page to look for my ad,
but to my horror so does the map.

My ad’s been displayed but it’s nowhere in sight,
Surely Google, “This can’t be right”.

My click through rate’s dropped,
& my quality score’s flopped.

My click price has doubled &
my position’s in trouble.

A bidding war starts, the numbers are scary,
at 10 quid per click it looks a bit hairy.

The giants fight for first position,
While we worry about cost per acquisition.

We bow out, dignity intact, while the others
paid 300 dollars to sell some old tat.

It’s a bit of a disgrace,
this theft of my advertising space.

Please Big G, remove Google Places, Surely
Local listings belong to the Yellow Pages

All our hard work’s made Sergey rich,
so can’t you find it in your heart to fix this glitch?

So Pretty Please Google, if you want to see us smile,
the best gift this Christmas would be the return of our old Adwords style!



More poems are available on request!

Get the latest digital marketing insights delivered to your inbox